HELL, ME? NO PROBLEM, I'VE GOT A RESERVATION!

This actually happened, the names have been changed to protect the guilty.





It was a pretty Sunday and I didn't go to church. I'd started maybe a month earlier. That afternoon I got a call from one of the members.

"Mr Sweet, this is Front Pewzilla. We didn't see you in church today?"

Now, some of you that know me, or have read me, are aware that I am already revving up the restraint.

"Hi, Mrs. Pewzilla, I'm sorry, one of those mornings."

"Well, will we see y'all next Sunday?"

"We'll try."
 "You'll have to do more than try, Mr. Sweet."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Okay, I'm off the phone now and quite proud that I had maintained my cool. 

Next Sunday came and I was sitting outside, dressed for church, I'm thinking it was around eight am. I went inside to get the phone.

"Hello," I answered agreeably."

"So, Mr Sweet, are y'all going to be in Church this morning?"

It's a good thing I had not buttoned my top shirt button and tightened my tie. I expect my head would have exploded.

"No, Mrs. Pewzilla, I'm thinking I will be watching the Cowboys and drinkin' a few beers."

There was silence and fear entered my heart. What if I'd given her a coronary?

The quiet was short lived. "You know you're going to hell, don't you?"

Coronary be damned. "Don't worry, Ma'am, I've got a reservation. You on the other hand will have to stand."

I hung up and changed out of from my Sunday go to meetin' clothes.

Thank Jesus for forgiveness, because the smile on my face had to be a sin.